Dating With Autism - From Autism Dating Expert
Why More Young People with Autism are Dating Online
Let’s face it, dating can be a nightmare for anyone – let alone someone who gets confused by all that subtle non-verbal behaviour we all so often manage to mis-interpret.And that’s why, these days, many individuals diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and Autism are turning online to meet their ‘significant other.’
I’ve found that someone who has Autism or who is on the autistic spectrum prefers to have things made clear and spelt out to them, rather than having to guess at nuances. If the person writing to them knows they have difficulty in this sense then they’ll be far more straight-forward in their emails.
But our site isn’t just about preventing mis-interpretation. The main service we consider ourselves providing is in creating a ‘safe space’ for those with Autism to initially meet and converse - albeit online. Once individuals who have Autism feel confident enough through conversing online they can go ahead and meet in person, without many of the doubts involved in meeting someone for the first time, such as whether they should introduce their condition etc at that point.One quarter of subscribers list themselves in the ‘Autistic’ category
Disabilitymatch.co.uk was started in 2011. Today it has more than 9000 individuals who list themselves as having Autism or being on the Autistic Spectrum – around a quarter of the total number of subscribers. In keeping with statistics for the condition, there are far more men than women with autism who have signed up.
Tom Morgan, 28, appeared on C4 TV’s The Undateables. Despite his good looks, Tom found it difficult to meet women and which he put down to his autistic condition. It got so problematic that at one point he resolved to simply be alone.
The main difficulties Tom found were sensory – lights that were too bright, loud noises and strange tastes – as well as the need to move around often. But he also worried that revealing his condition to a date could scare them off while not saying anything could make them feel as if he was hiding something. Confusion reigned.
Researchers say another difficulty for someone dating who is on the autistic spectrum is in knowing both how, and when, to express feelings of attraction and love. >
Online dating eases the pressure of a first date
A spontaneous cuddle from someone not familiar with autism can prove extremely uncomfortable for the recipient and vice versa if that person didn’t feel romantic towards the other.
Dating at the best of times is a minefield but having an autistic condition takes the stakes a lot higher. From feedback we’ve received from users of the site they do appreciate the opportunity to get to know each other online before meeting up. They have told us that it definitely takes the pressure of that crucial first date.
And it’s not just people with autism who contacted those listing themselves as ‘on the spectrum.’
Having autism is definitely not a deterrent to dating those without the condition, if our website’s statistics are anything to go by. Whether those with autism find that comforting or not, I’m not sure. But I certainly hope they do.
